Coming Back To Self
What I resisted all along was myself
Always seeking. Always striving. Sometimes we have to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves again. Try on different cloaks to see which one fits, which one matches our inner being. What I have found in the quest for truth is a homecoming to who I have always been, what I have always believed, yet with a newfound awareness, wisdom and appreciation.
Whispers of Truth
Our intuition always speaks to us. It’s our compass, our guide, our trusted companion. At least it should be a trusted companion. It’s the only reliable source we have to lead us. We have all experienced ignoring our intuitive hunches only to find out that we should have listened! Nothing feels more annoying than having ignored your inner voice. You knew that you knew, yet you didn’t heed the call. The more this happens to us, the more we learn to trust that inner voice and follow where it leads us.
There are many ways to ignore that inner voice. Not just in terms of things like everyday life events such as ‘did I forget my keys’ etc but in more significant ways. At times we can drift further and further away from our truth and authenticity if we’re not careful. This may not even necessarily be a bad thing if it leads us to a deeper understanding of who we are. It’s only when we understand ourselves deeply that we can make a conscious choice to return to the core of our being.
Our Environments Shape Us
As someone who has lived in three different countries (Norway, Spain and the UK) I can also testify to the formative effect our environment plays in our development. Every country and city has its own personality, its own unique characteristics that will bring out different parts of ourselves. I wonder if this is one of the reasons young people in particular love to travel and live in different places around the world. This outer search for adventure and experience is often a disguise for what is really an inner search for self.
Some places will be a good fit for our personalities, whereas others may feel like they completely contradict and contrast with who we are. Either way these experiences will allow us to tap into different aspects of ourselves, to bring the unseen or unexpressed into the light.
What I have often found is that a certain location will coincide with a certain phase of my inner life. Once we have developed beyond what that particular environment represents we are often uprooted and life takes us somewhere else which is a better match for who we have now become or what is next for us.
That’s the root of everything at the end of the day. Becoming. Coming back to self is a becoming.
Maybe the journey isn’t about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
- Paulo Coelho
Choosing To Be Seen
Before we have stepped fully into our authenticity and truth there is always an element of hiding. We’re hiding aspects of ourselves. Why is this? More often than not it’s because we have not yet reconciled those aspects of ourselves. We haven’t accepted them, embraced them and claimed them as parts of ourselves. So we push them away and try to hide them, not just from others, but from ourselves. This can work in the short term, yet our inner voice will always tell us that this is not quite who we are.
We ignore the whispers of our soul in order to achieve something, to be accepted, to belong. Yet the irony is, never do we belong nowhere like when we try to fit ourselves into spaces that don’t ring true for us. Never do we summon loneliness more than when we deny aspects of ourselves and try to force a belonging that isn’t real. Nothing is more lonely than not being truly seen for who we are. You simply cannot fit a square into a round hole no matter how hard you try.
Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Risk being seen in all your glory.
- Jim Carrey
Once we accept this we can show up fully in our truth and allow what falls away as a consequence to simply fall away. Only the real will remain.
Ironically, often what we don’t accept about ourselves are the things that truly make us unique. It’s when we start embracing our uniqueness, our otherness that we can truly allow ourselves to shine. When we do this we have truly come home to ourselves. It’s a homecoming that we all must sooner or later embark upon and which is most definitely worth celebrating.
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Those who learn to unlearn and lose themselves to discover their true self are able to lead a fulfilling life for self and for everyone around. It is difficult, time consuming and demands patience, but it is not impossible. Loved the piece to the fullest. Thank you, Hege.