How Listening to Your Feelings Helps You Make Better Decisions
It's time to give our feelings some credit.
I always used to make decisions from rational thinking, weighing up the pros and cons and trying to think my way to an answer or a solution. No time for feelings! There is a better way…
Feelings Are Not Irrational
Our feelings can get a bad rep for not just being irrational, but for leading us astray. From an early age we are told to ‘use our head’ when making decisions. Understandably so. Yet I believe there is much more value in involving our feelings in our decision making process if we learn to do this correctly.
Our feelings are guideposts and if something makes us feel sad, disillusioned or unmotivated, it’s worth paying attention to. That date you went on, the job interview, the social gathering. How did you feel after those encounters? Did you feel uplifted, excited, hopeful and inspired? Or did you leave feeling down, hopeless and zapped of all joy and enthusiasm? In these types of situations our feelings are our most valuable guide. They are not irrational but speak to a higher truth of a situation. We sense, through our feelings, that something is wrong for us, yet we can’t logically understand or pinpoint why this is exactly. We just ‘feel’ it. This is of course linked to our intuition and higher knowing, but it’s less subtle when our feelings get involved. Just like you are told to trust your intuition, you should also trust your feelings. If something doesn’t feel good, it’s probably not for you.
Expansion Vs Retraction
How can you start listening to your feelings? It’s really rather simple. When making a decision, ask yourself whether the thing in question is making you feel expansive or does it make you feel retractive? Does it feel good? Does it fill you with dread? Does it feel ok but actually makes you really sad? Pay attention to those feelings and what they are trying to tell you. Start leaning into your feelings when making decisions. Somewhere deep inside you know what’s right for you and at times your feelings will scream at you to make you aware of this. Don’t ignore that call. Get still and listen.
When Feelings Get in the Way
Are there times when feelings can get in the way of good decision making? Sure! Nothing is ever black and white. The key differentiator here is to pay attention to feelings like fear. Sometimes we don’t want to do something that would actually be good for us because the new and unknown scares us. This is normal. Just because you feel fear doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something. In fact, it could be a very good reason why you should!
The same goes of course with things like breakups which will lead to a lot of pain, sadness and grief. Again, those are normal feelings under the circumstances and not a reason to not make that decision if you know it’s the right thing to do for your future. Use your discernment and don’t use your feelings as an excuse to not move forward in life.
Decision Making Deluxe
Decision making at it’s best should be a mixture of logical thinking and involving our feelings as well. Only our feelings have access to our higher self that will guide us to what’s ultimately right for us. It’s an extension of our intuition and inner knowing. When we listen to how we really feel about a decision this is a guiding light for us. I have found that since I started listening to my feelings when making a decision life has worked itself out a lot better. Why? Because I am no longer making rational decisions based on fear or ignoring my feelings about a given situation or opportunity. This fosters a greater level of self understanding and self trust and, after a while, decision making becomes much easier. Trust yourself when making decisions. And for goodness sakes, trust your feelings!
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i totally agree, i just wrote about something very similar in my post "divine guidance" !
Hey Hege, this is a great read! I totally resonate with this because I feel like when people say to follow your “gut”, it’s always been a mix of rational thinking AND your feelings. That’s how I’ve always thought about it and it does usually help me because it’s apart of my intuition as well. You’re totally right that sometimes feelings can be wrong and stray you away from what could be a good path. When it comes to fear, I like to turn my rational thinking up a notch and think more about the pros and cons of a decision. Thank you so much for sharing this! Your newsletter is awesome by the way! Just subscribed! :)