What To Do When You’ve Outgrown Your Environment
Growing pains of levelling up
At various stages in life we find that we grow at such a rapid pace that we inevitably end up outgrowing a lot of our inner circle and, as a result, no longer feel at home in our old environments with old dynamics. It not only becomes completely unfulfilling, but almost intolerable. If this is happening to you, you’re not alone.
Here are some things you can do to deal with this when it happens.
Catalysts for Growth
Firstly, let’s look at why we may suddenly experience a massive growth which may leave us feeling disconnected from the old parts of our life in the first place. This may simply be because of our own dedication to our inner growth and development and that we get to a tipping point where our growth is catapulted forward and starts really gaining momentum. It could also be due to a trigger event that forces us to face ourselves on a deeper level and as a consequence, level up our growth. Another reason for quick, sudden growth could be that we have put ourselves in a new environment which has allowed us to step into a greater level of authenticity than previously. This could be having spent time abroad or in a new circle for instance. All these things could be reasons why we end up outgrowing our old environments rather quickly!
Accept What Is
Be honest with yourself about what is happening. Don’t fight it. It’s normal and it’s actually a very positive thing. It means that you have grown at a speed that is not being matched by your current environment. This is quite an achievement in itself and it’s also quite a normal experience. Take it as a sign that you are now ready for new things, new people and new experiences that are more in alignment with your authenticity and truth who can match your current level. This is exciting! Allow what wants to fall away to naturally fall away. Stay true to yourself and don’t be tempted to try to fit back into what you have outgrown.
Sometimes personal growth means growing apart
– Mel Robbins
Be in the Void
When you’re in this process of having outgrown the old but perhaps not having created anything substantially new yet, you find yourself in a void between the old and the new. This can be a really uncomfortable space to be in. You’re floating in between two stages of your life. Don’t be tempted to try to rush to fill this space out of impatience or discomfort. Use this time to connect with yourself and reflect on what you now wish to bring into your life. There’s no rush. The old will naturally fall away as it’s no longer in alignment with who you have become and the new will come as a natural byproduct of this. Relax. Take stock. Everything is unfolding perfectly.
Be Grateful
One thing that can be really helpful at this time is to be grateful for everything that has been. Be grateful for those things you have outgrown. They were a part of your journey and a key component in your growth process. We can release the old with love and gratitude. There’s no need to feel any negative way about it. Everything in life is valuable if it’s contributing to our growth and I believe that everything does if we allow it to. Be grateful for what has been.
Don’t Try to Change Others
This is most definitely a pitfall to avoid! It’s not your job to make others grow or raise them up to your level. This is an exhausting, and in most cases, fruitless job. People are who they are and have their own journey which may or may not align with yours. Let people be who they are and let them grow, or not, at their own pace. It’s not for you to decide. Equally, don’t hinder your own growth out of loyalty to others. Don’t put on the brakes out of fear that you will outgrow people. I have done this in the past and it only leaves you feeling resentful. In truth you can only blame yourself for this. You weren’t ready then. You’re ready now. Let others be who they are and focus on staying true to yourself.
Live out of your imagination, not your history
– Stephen Covey
Change Your Environment
Finally it’s time to put yourself in a new and more aligned environment. As mentioned above, this isn’t something you necessarily need to make an effort to go and do, as much as you need to allow this to organically fall into place. Trust that your new vibe will attract your new tribe! Follow your intuition. What do you feel called to do now? Where do you feel called to go? What kind of environment would make you feel at peace and joyful at this moment? What kind of environment would allow you to keep growing and level up even further at this point? You may have to step outside your comfort zone now which is a great and exciting prospect! Just as you start saying yes to new things, remember to keep saying no to things that no longer fill your soul. Say no to invitations and opportunities that are no longer aligned with your truth. Seek new opportunities instead and allow new things to flow beautifully into your life.
All endings are merely a prelude to a new beginning. Step boldly into the unknown with presence and grace, carrying all the lessons from the past with you. Remember that your loyalty must be to your own potential first and foremost. When you’ve outgrown your environment be honest about this and get excited for all the beautiful surprises that await you at this new level of your being. Things are about to get interesting!
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Oh Hege! This post is so timely and apt for me. It completely spoke to my current experience. I believe my own growth experience was as a result of your 2ndb&3rd points.
You also answered to the questions going on in my mind about a friend of mine, that recently resurfaced in my life. We used to be very close, then life separated us. But since she resurfaced, something appeared to be kinda off.
I can feel, more than a hint of competitiveness that never used to be there. And I have been bothered as to why. Now, outwardly this person has done much better than I, so why is she feeling threatened?
I was actually telling my husband earlier today, that I don't want to encourage that friendship. This is because I won't be reducing myself or accepting any narcissistic attitude from anyone, just so they can feel better with themselves.
Only for me to come online now to see your post.
I think this is all the sign that I need 😃😃
Thanks for sharing 🙏
This is a very good post to reflect on with someone like myself who has finally started to grow up. We tend to embrace our growth but not slow down to enjoy it. So many good tips here... thank you for writing and sharing.